Twenty minutes, the timer starts.
Pencils sharp, paper flat.
My job is to stay still, something I usually struggle to do. Even when lying
in bed, wasting a lazy day, I fidget constantly.
My mind, too, is always busy; cogs turning, anxiety rising.
To calm my body and quiet my mind, I need cold water – a river, a lake or
the sea. The water refreshes, comforts and tires me.
I often introduce my friends to the river - as if it is my partner, my family,
my home. I invite them to swim with me, to share the cold bath – to wash
away our worries, together.
Sometimes I swim naked. With nothing between my body and the water.
Despite my work as a life model, I often feel nervous when I step into the
water and when I climb out; afraid someone will see me and comment on
This happened once. A group of vocal men passed by in a motorised
boat. They audibly discussed their disgust upon seeing me swimming
without a costume. I considered the fact that they had probably seen
naked women on the internet. Passive objects of desire - with no voice.
I chose not to respond to these men. I kept quiet, just like when I am
On reflection, I am far more ashamed of my silence, than of my naked
body. My body is my home, The river is my home,
And we should all feel comfortable to be naked in our homes.